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[Drabble] House Arrest (VF, Asami/Takaba, crack) - Moonchild's Nest
August 25th, 2005
12:28 am

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[Drabble] House Arrest (VF, Asami/Takaba, crack)
Title: House Arrest

Pairing: Asami/Takaba

Warnings: Mpreg. Blame anitac588 who should've been cautious enough not to mention mpreg in one sentence, and Viewfinder in the next one. Who knows what sick perverts might stumble across your post and interpret absolutely unrelated remarks in their own very twisted way?


"I want to go out!"

"You can't. We already discussed this."

"Riiight. Your idea of discussion is when you give out orders and others quietly obey."

"Glad that you grasped the idea. Is there any hope you might actually act as described, too?"

"Fuck off. And get your hands off my stomach."

"I could leave, of course, but then you'll get bored again."

"I won't if you return me the car keys."

"No."

"Why?"

"Too much trouble."

"'Stop. Rubbing. It. Trouble for whom?"

"Me. My lawyers. Transport police. Innocent people in the streets who don't get a prior notice that you are out."

"It was an accident, I told you!"

"You were chased by police!"

"I had no choice, those idiots ordered me to step out of the car. Looking like this, I just couldn't do it!"

"You wouldn't have been stopped in the first place if you hadn't tried to push that Volvo off the road."

"People who can't drive should stay at home! Would you quit stroking my stomach already?! Go hog a balloon if you need something large and round to cling to!"

"People who can't keep their hormones under control shall stay at home. And that's final."

"I hate you."

"Well, doesn't this sound familiar...."

"Those feelings never went away, I assure you."

"Is that so?"

"Yes! They only got stronger after you did this to me."

"May I remind you who is really at fault? You were the one who insisted on proving the research in that lab was a fake. Forgive me for not thinking my male partner might need a contraceptive."

"How could I know those guys were for real unless I tried it on myself?! Investigation must be thorough... damn...."

"What is it? Back pains again?"

"Yeah... ahhh... a little lower... just like that, yesss...."

"Better?"

"Much. Shit. I turned into a cripple. Can't even see my cock without a mirror."

"You poor thing. Want me to help you rediscover it?"

"Eh? Oh, now wait just a second!"

"Spread your legs."

"I won't! Oh... you bastard."

"Mmm."

"Enough already! I don't like it. Can't even see what you are doing down there."

"I did offer a mirror ceiling, remember?"

"And I refused! Ohhh... I'm not a dirty pervert like you... Ah! No, keep going...."

"Lean back and raise your legs."

"What? Hey, I didn't want sex, I wanted my car keys!"

"I'll give you back your keys, but then you'll spend the rest of the term at my cottage in the mountains. And that place is only accessible by helicopter."

"Haaa... all you do is threaten and then fuck me. The child's gonna be scarred for life."

"I'm sure he'll understand that I've been simply doing my best to keep him safe. Ah, yes... just like that...."

~Owari~

Current Mood: pervy
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[User Picture]
From:anitac588
Date:August 24th, 2005 08:45 pm (UTC)
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*giggles*
And this is my fault??!! I distinctly remember mentioning sluts with collar too! And stripper wave!!! You had to go and pick alien biology, lol.

Of course, I love it, it's hilarious!!!!

[User Picture]
From:d_moonchild
Date:August 24th, 2005 09:01 pm (UTC)
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*nods firmly* Yep. Totally your fault. I would never have thought to connect the concepts of VF and male pregnancy on my own. But when a certain someone mentioned first one and then the other, I was like, "OMG, there's a mpreg VF fic?!"

And a second later, as I realized I got it wrong, "OMG, this fandom doesn't have a single mpreg story yet?!" :)
(Deleted comment)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:d_moonchild
Date:August 24th, 2005 09:15 pm (UTC)
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Just think about all those poor VF fans who get to read it. Their pain is greater than yours, I assure you *g*

And... I hate to break your heart, like, twice, but I did it before, in HP fandom :P So I'm even sicker than you thought.
[User Picture]
From:japanpeterpan
Date:August 24th, 2005 09:10 pm (UTC)
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Hehehehehehhehehehehe
This amuses far more than it has any right to.
[User Picture]
From:d_moonchild
Date:August 24th, 2005 09:18 pm (UTC)
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Thank you! I find something morbidly fascinating about inserting the idea of male pregnancy into Viewfinder ^_^
[User Picture]
From:k_a_s_h_k_a
Date:August 24th, 2005 09:24 pm (UTC)
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oh. my. gawd. you made akihito carry asami`s baby!!! i so envy him :P
it`s simply hilarious. and the line: "Shit. I turned into a cripple. Can't even see my cock without a mirror" just made me laugh XDDD
soo amusing ans kind of sweet at the same time XD

thanks for writing and sharing. i guess we need to thank anitac588 for conceiving the idea in your head too XDDD
[User Picture]
From:d_moonchild
Date:August 24th, 2005 09:35 pm (UTC)
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Sankyuu! It amazes me to no end, how we all know that Akihito is the luckiest man on the whole planet, and he's the only one who fails to see it! :)
From:moonlit_page
Date:August 24th, 2005 09:32 pm (UTC)
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Please, what is this fandom and where can I find its crack?
[User Picture]
From:d_moonchild
Date:August 24th, 2005 09:42 pm (UTC)
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You haven't read Viewfinder? *gasps* It's a marvelous manga by Yamane Ayano, with interesting plot and beautiful artwork. A brash and extremely independent pretty, young freelance photographer, an irresistible tall, dark and handsome yakuza boss, sex, violence, sex, adventure... did I mention sex?

Here's the comm:
http://www.livejournal.com/community/yamane_ayano

If you join it and check the downloads link (top of the page), you'll be able to get the scanlations. It's a must read. If there's a problem with the links, let me know and I'll send you the files.
[User Picture]
From:cleopie71
Date:August 24th, 2005 09:39 pm (UTC)
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so... will we see a part two and asami's lil boy (or girl)? kekekeke

*turns back to read and squee on her new viewfinder mangas*
[User Picture]
From:d_moonchild
Date:August 24th, 2005 10:07 pm (UTC)
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*listens* Akihito says he'll never talk to me again if I dare to continue this storyline. And I do need him for another fic!
[User Picture]
From:naughtiest
Date:August 24th, 2005 09:45 pm (UTC)
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*ROFL* XDD~~~

This was so hilarious! I'd never thought mpreg can be this interesting! (well, anything about Asami is interesting, though.. *giggles madly*)

I love it!
[User Picture]
From:d_moonchild
Date:August 24th, 2005 10:05 pm (UTC)
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Thanks! I'm sure Asami would agree that this is an interesting situation (although I'm afraid Akihito might not share our enthusiasm).
[User Picture]
From:rusalkaz
Date:August 24th, 2005 09:54 pm (UTC)
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Ye Gods!!! XDDD Hilarious! Write some more!
[User Picture]
From:d_moonchild
Date:August 24th, 2005 10:03 pm (UTC)
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Oh no, Takaba will hate me forever if I drag him through the whole deal! But I'm willing to let somebody else play with this plot bunny *nudge*nudge*
[User Picture]
From:nikm
Date:August 24th, 2005 10:24 pm (UTC)
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XD *is very much amused and entertained*
[User Picture]
From:d_moonchild
Date:August 25th, 2005 07:20 am (UTC)
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Glad you liked :)
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
From:d_moonchild
Date:August 25th, 2005 08:07 am (UTC)
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I'm happy you liked it :) Thank you!!
[User Picture]
From:lilt_rill
Date:August 25th, 2005 12:19 am (UTC)
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Hehehehe.... *glomps while laughing*

I love the thought of that kid.

"Father, where's Papa?"
"Papa is being punished. Now, Ichiro, when an uke slips past his bodyguards, what is the appropriate punishment?"
"Slipped past them and got in trouble or didn't?"
...
"Has Papa been telling you stories again?"
[User Picture]
From:d_moonchild
Date:August 25th, 2005 08:05 am (UTC)
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LOL! I think you grasped the dynamics of their future family relationship perfectly.
[User Picture]
From:sylvan_fae
Date:August 25th, 2005 12:24 am (UTC)
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babe, you got me sold. I love it! XD You wrote an VF MPREG fic and got me to love it. ::laugh::
[User Picture]
From:d_moonchild
Date:August 25th, 2005 08:02 am (UTC)
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Heee, I'm corrupting innocent minds. Thank you!
[User Picture]
From:dragynville
Date:August 25th, 2005 01:32 am (UTC)
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There SO needs to be more VF mpreg. XD Because Takaba is the perfect cranky, knocked-up uke! XDXD
[User Picture]
From:d_moonchild
Date:August 25th, 2005 07:36 am (UTC)
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Damn, I had no idea there are so many closet mpreg-loving perverts in this fandom :)
[User Picture]
From:ramble_corner
Date:August 25th, 2005 01:36 am (UTC)
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darn hehe i should not be sooo liking this ^_^
but cuute and the hint of Asami's taking care of Takaba -backpain rub- and all that make me squee and melt XDXDXD
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<i."i'll>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

darn hehe i should not be sooo liking this ^_^
but cuute and the hint of Asami's taking care of Takaba -backpain rub- and all that make me squee and melt XDXDXD
<i."I'll give you back your keys, but then you'll spend the rest of the term at my cottage in the mountains. And that place is only accessible by helicopter."
</i>
awww he's <s>locking up </s> making sure Takaba will be protected during his <i>difficult </i> time *grin
Nice ~~
[User Picture]
From:d_moonchild
Date:August 25th, 2005 07:35 am (UTC)
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Thank you! I suspect that Asami just wants to make a nest, subconsciously *vbg*
[User Picture]
From:_rainbowtears_
Date:August 25th, 2005 02:16 am (UTC)
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Ok, I usually run from mpregs, but morbid curosity got the better of me this time. And I am so glad that it did. I sooooo needed a laugh, and you provided it. Thank you ♥

Seriously though, I have always said that Asami would make an awesome father. Especially if he had a little girl. She would have him so wrapped around her little finger.
[User Picture]
From:d_moonchild
Date:August 25th, 2005 07:22 am (UTC)
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Aw, thank you! I know that mpreg and VF don't mix. Was expecting to be buried in flames, actually... I'm glad I failed to squick you :)
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